Day 5, the final day on Chantix for Quitting Cigarettes
What happened last night concludes that I don't wish to carry on with Chantix anymore. At least, I might try it again in the future if I am unable to quit but for now, I just want to be off it. Since the past few days of taking Chantix, I felt that I didn't want to interact with people too much. The reason for this is that maybe since I am on a medication, I was focusing more on the medicine, and quitting cigarettes than anything else.
The 5th day was kind of rough. I didn't feel active at all, and started feeling as my body was not up to the mark. I developed a headache on day 4 that didn't want to go away for good, and before going to bed I took my dog out for a walk and noticed that he was eating a piece of chicken that someone had thrown outside their house. I have trained my dog very well, and never allowed him to eat from the floor neither outside, but when I saw him eat that chicken, I totally lost it, I became so angry that I wanted to just let him out and not let him in the house. Well, I also had a feeling in my mind that maybe I am feeling to angry because of the medicine, so I caught my dog eating that, slapped him and made him throw it. He loves me and understands me very well, so he most definitely made sure that whatever was in his mouth came out. I then (forced myself to) let him in the house and go to bed. Though my mind was telling me that this is not acceptable and he should be punished for it, I knew it was the medicine so I didn't let myself take any action on him. I just didn't talk to him at all the entire night and did not let him come in to my room, which he sometimes does at night when he is not feeling too happy.
And as I slept, I started dreaming about some very real dreams. I had at least 6 dreams that I remember. The first one was where my Girlfriend was with me and two guys we hung out with (in the dream only, don't remember those guys in real life). So this one guy tried to kiss my Girlfriend in front of me, and I just lost it, I held him with his hair and pushed his face in the sink. I remember even in the dream I was telling him that I would have slammed your head against the wall till you died, but since I am on a medication, I wont let that medicine take over, so I am leaving you with this, just get lost and never come in front of me again ...
I am not someone who would get so physical with anyone right away. If I don't like a situation, I would be out of there without saying a word. But this dream scared me, because in my dream mind, I was almost ready to go to an extreme. And remember, this dream felt like it was real, so I could feel the force I was putting to hold him down, as I held his hair with one hand and twisted his arm with another.
The rest of the dreams were also violent in nature. And when I woke up in the morning, I called my personal trainer (since I had an appointment with him) and told him that I have a headache and can't come in today and then went back to sleep. I woke up at 3pm. I just couldn't wake up before this. I was helplessly lying in the bed and couldn't even drag myself out of the bed. So with this said, I don't think I want to carry on with Chantix anymore as I feel that I can quit smoking cigarettes with my will power. I am not weak, I am not in such a mess that I need medicines to help me quit. The only problem is that I don't want to quit smoking so I will work on that, and go through the other quit methods as mentioned on your site (how-to-quit-cigarettes.com) and quit on the same quit date March 11 2009.
I will keep you posted on this but I want to request you to put all the emails I sent you on your site so people can read how Chantix works and also feel confident in trying it as it is important to know that you have an option to quit chantix the day you want.
Thanks for reading my 5 days on Chantix. Hope this experience of mine helped you.
Regards and good luck